Thursday, December 22, 2005

Blues

Yesterday I was presented with a verse on a web site for Chrisrian depression. The verse caused me to cry and to pray (Jeremiah 29:11-13). Now while this was great and I would not change or downplay the experience; my insanity made me look up the context. Bummer!
So today, in the midst of yet one more morning funk, I was writting in my paper journal about my mania last May. I was so sold out on the idea of God's provision for me that I left everything behind and went out to central Pennsylvania believing that God would handle all the details of my survival. The result was that I returned to Philadelphia and entered some of the darkesss episodes of depression that I have ever experienced.
Since I cannot and will not blame God; my suffering includes a guilty conscience for failing to have faith. This is a recipe for a downward spiral. Today (and many recent days) I journal about my need to hope, trust and believe the many and wonderful promises God has made to believers. I will post these two rather than just reference them:
Ephesians 3: 14-21

For this cause I bow my knees unto the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, of whom the whole family in heaven and earth is named, that He would grant you, according to the riches of his glory, to be strengthened with might by his Spirit in the inner man; that Christ may dwell in your hearts by faith; that ye, being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all saints what is the breadth, and length, and depth, and height; and to know the love of Christ, which passeth knowledge, that ye might be filled with all the fulness of God. Now unto Him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us, unto him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus throughout all ages, world without end. Amen.
(Notice the context? Paul is praying for me! Cool!)
Philippians 4: 4-8

Rejoice in the Lord always: and again I say, Rejoice. Let your moderation be known unto all men. The Lord is at hand. Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. Finally, brethren,
whatsoever things are true,
whatsoever things are honest,
whatsoever things are just,
whatsoever things are pure,
whatsoever things are lovely,
whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.
(Meditation, hmm, I'll try it!)
Bobby
PS- Both of these quotations are from a writer named Paul. He was a good writer. For more of his stuff (all in the public domain by the way ;-) see The Bible. This collection of works includes much more of Paul's writings.

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