Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Still more vacuum

I am extremely sorry that this has become what amounts to a dead blog. In all turmoil of my unraveled life it has become more than difficult to access computer time. This may change soon, then again there is also the potential for yet another move (three in two months) and that will bring another, different set of challenges.

I can testify that being sober is not easy. Nor is being a believer. In the main, it is possibly better that you have not heard much of what I would have written. So be it.

Pray for me. I pray for you all and for the impact what I have already said may have upon all those who read. This period of silence may be the next part of the message for someone, after all, my saying nothing for this period of time is God's doing, not mine.

Love in Christ

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

I'm Back?

Life has spun out of control.

I have moved twice in the last month and started a new job. The place I currently live has no computer, hence no internet access. I am writing this from a library.

After many intense days of prayer, I suspect that God started to move some things around, including me!

I am still sober. I still find that I need to worship God with others to feel better. Just now I am feeling that it is possible that God will give me a better future. The present is kind of shaky.

I find that I fear being alone. I dread the thought of being old and alone. I am already 49 yrs old and life is starting all over again for me. I too easily worry about myself. This condition is as old as I am. I find that I do not love others the way I should. This leaves me without close contact with others. Then there is the great big hole in my heart from being estranged from my family.

I pray that I will once again be able to share something helpful through this blog. I have no idea when I will be able to contribute new materials. There are other writings linked to the Onwards and Upwards web site if you feel so inclined.